973392 - OPTIMYTHIC 02:
PRAISE thE GODS!
To: His Majesty, the Queen!
From: Sir Cadence "Porridge" Fapcannon
Re: Further Discoveries!
With this second exhibition of PleasureBombs from the OPTIMYTHIC forest,
I am pleased to delve even deeper into the burgeoning field of ArcheoPixoPornology.
In doing so, I acknowledge that most of the specimens currently on view
have already been exhibited last year (2017 CE) as part of the inaugural
harvest of FairyTotems.
Now, however, the style of Antinoan “Whimsy” with which you
are familiar needs be augmented by some freshly discovered work that happily
extends our classification system into two new branches of Expression.
Regarding the first novelty, I am delighted to (finally!) celebrate the
discovery of a bona fide OPTIMYTHIC “Figure” –
the lovely little portrait of a mischievous-looking
human female who, to be perfectly honest, seems decidedly out
of place among the puerile inanities of our mysterious, forest-dwelling
dryads. I have arbitrarily assigned her the name “Sabina.”
Regarding the second stylistic novelty, I present a trio of “Tethered”
pieces that have inexplicably incorporated a snippet of Greco-Roman correspondence
into their crystalline explosures. All three missives are addressed to
a fellow named Decentius, and, save for a few internal variations in their
texts, all three appear to be structured in concert with one another.
Strange as they are, if taken at face value, one must suddenly find one’s
self standing agog in the midst of an updated Latin alphabet whose pantheon
contains 29 unique Letter-Gods!
Whimsical, Figurative, and Tethered: these three branches of OPTIMYTHIC
expression have allowed me to re-triangulate my earlier analysis of FairyPractice,
thus to arrive at some stunning new speculations about the facts of their
Allow me to recap what we already know: If an encounter is simply Lustful,
the fairies will be quick to acknowledge it. Prior to congress, the participants
will peel their protection from off the stamen of a Shagtail Yellowsprite.
After their Pleasures are spent, the freighted balloon is launched against
any serviceable LaughingTree, upon which the ActiveMagic explodes. From
this exact location will sprout a unique FairyTotem that the Fairies themselves
seem to value only for a fleeting instant, if at all.
Based on my analysis of the newest pieces, I can now assert with equivocal
confidence that FairyPractice appears to modify (i.e. change) if an encounter
is deemed to be Loving (as opposed to merely Lustful). In such a case,
the Shagtail is not used at all. This results in a small quantity of ActiveMagic
that is quite immediately absorbed into the innards of the PassiveFairy,
whereat it appears to nourish the GreyNet of his spine. The GreyNet, from
what I can deduce, is a substrate – a gossimer, weblike membrane
– onto which the immediate sensory overload of the encounter is
placed for temporary storage. In cooler, more reflective moments, the
fairy’s metabolism will take the ActiveFairy’s fluid stored
in the GreyNet, and slowly transform it into the appropriate temperature
of Colour such that it eventually sprouts into new layers of RibbonTail.
It is from the RibbonTail that future wing structures are derived. As
such, a Fairy’s wings appear to be the very public and visible record
of his lifetime’s worth of pleasures received through the slow expenditure
The downside, of course, is that the entire Process produces to crystalline
PleasureBombs for others to enjoy.
I remain your most Loyal servant,
Sir Cadence "Porridge" Fapcannon,
|photo by Grim Fandango
By the way, m'Lord, Sir Richard Wadd's
Price-List is once again self-indulgent.
I've taken the liberty of making some necessary adjustments.